Ambassador of Fortitude
Violence is simply ridiculous. Starting with (but not limited to) the violence heaped on women and children everyday on this planet. During my time in prision, I had plenty of time to contemplate violence, read up on it, study it, as well as contemplate my own violent reaction to the violent relationship I was in, and the constant threat of murder-suicide by my second husband who was out of control emotionally and otherwise.
At this point, I don't spend much time talking about the past, but instead I talk about changing our attitudes, beliefs and behaviors towards one another. I've discovered some wonderful tools and new ways of living that have helped me correct my old stinking thinking and rebuild my life, from the inside out. That's my focus and if you want to have a coaching conversation with me, its not from the victim perspecitive but from one who takes total responsiblity for my every thought, word and deed. That's what I encourage others to do as well.
Prison was good for me. Not that I liked it, because it wasn't fun and its not the Ritz. What was good was the time for healing and reconciling MY CHOICES and to compensate for what had happened and all of my foul choices in all the ways I could within that experience. I will post my story from Unbreakable Spirit below in the hopes that somebody will benefit from reading it and make the decision to make a new choice, lest it end up like my true life story - death and prison. Not cute, sexy or cool. Nor is this comfortable to talk about, but I do it because as I listen to the news and witness the continuous violence in our communities and in our world, I am compelled by a Force greater than myself to do so because its necessary to help awaken people from their nightmares and realize the truth of who we really are.
When I got out of prision, I was indeed an Ambassador of Fortitude. for the first two years I immersed myself in teaching violence prevention programs because I didn't want anyone to end up like I did. Heaven forbid. I was trained by some remarkable teachers and I enjoyed sharing the many things I learned at Youth Detention Centers, Battered Women's Shelters, Churches, Community Based Organizations, and at Businesses. I was non-stop. Then I burned out, and I remember arriving at that awakening. I had grown tired of telling a worn out story from a past chapter in the book of my life and over-identifying with it. I was also sick and tired of bonding with women around negative events! For me, that had to change. I had the big AHA Awakening! What happened is NOT the totality of who I am, its just an episode in the book of my life! I spoke with a dear friend about my conflicted feelings, and she said to me, ever so lovingly, "Ah honey, you've done your tour of duty. You're free now and you can go on and make new choices." Somehow I needed to hear that from a loving, spiritually mature woman, and her words set me free and gave me permission to let it go and move on.
My prison job was working in the Law Library, which was perfect because I'm an avid reader. Once released, I continued on the path of personal development and I found Accelerated Learning and other Human Development Programs such as HeartMath and now I've become a teacher of those gorgeous messages. I've embraced many higher truths according to my own understanding and direct experience and I enjoy sharing truth more than anything as part of my service to humanity. When in coaching conversations, I have a deep compassion for whatever is occurring and strive to be patient as each soul awakens in their time and in their own way. I offer tools and resources, and as an emancipation coach, I help point the way. I'm no guru, just a loving guide on the side helping others to get free from many self-imposed prisons.
I appreciate my friend Lisa Nichols (another guide), for supporting me with telling my story and publishing it as part of this compilation. I really liked that because I realized that my chapter was just one chapter, not only in this collection of real life stories, but in the book of my own life. It takes courage to tell the truth and I know now that only the one who tells the truth gets free. Telling the truth is a beautiful thing, but no one said it would be pretty.